Friday, 19 September 2014

19 . Piece of Advice

If you could give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?

Get off my back.

Or many others' backs..

This is for people who poke their noses into others marital and maternity status.
I'm not sure about Westerners but Asians get this A LOT. It is a never ending lineup of questions...
It always begins with concerns about studies when one is younger, and then to work condition..
And when you're "of age"...

  • Do you have boy/girlfriend? [No.. Why not? | Yes.. Next Question]
This goes on till you have one..
  • When are you getting married? [This is often accompanied by "You're not getting any younger.."]
This too goes on till you're married or when people "decided" you are to be left on the shelf or gay. (Who ever decides that? Really!) In reality, for this lineup, it's better for the latter, otherwise it leads to the next..
  • When are you having babies? [What do you mean when? You mean I can order them on ebay?]
Nothing still?
  • Why are you not having babies? [When "Why" is used, it's presumed it's a choice? Do we get them so long we said "Yes"?]
Then, they "decided" you're either infertile or insensible or unfilial.

This is a very sensitive topic amongst women like me. Everyone has their opinions or difficulties.
Personally, I do not reject the idea of having a baby nor do I feel incomplete without one, but I definitely do not think it's all in the matter of choice like I said above. And what riled me was they are not really concerns, they could be asked out of sheer curiosity or maybe even less, just an after-greeting like "Have you eaten?".

Another is judgement of weight/fat. I know I've gained a lot of weight after getting married but don't people just get fatter or thinner? It's one way or the other.. What is there to fuss about? Funny was, no fuss made when I lost weight, at a time when health was kinda under the weather.

Putting these two together, the worst I've heard is "Why did you put on so much weight since you're not having a baby?" ◣◢)┌∩┐

They don't bother me much any more but I feel the need to defend others when they went through the same ordeal.. We do not need your two cents worth, because to us, they're just two cents worth.

My hubby says he'd get off my back as long it's not over 60(kg), you should too.

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